Earth Mothers Chronicles: Smoke and Mirrors

Standard

Looking a person dead in the eye aint ever been her thing
And maybe this is coming from an insecurity standpoint
But being met with a direct stare pulls Hardiner out of her element
She tends to feel all self-conscious and shi- eh stuff
Like all her inadequacies are spread out for public viewing
Good Lawd – the self-awareness is already hitting her dome
With ferocity even before she can roll out her preamble
This breakthrough gon wipe the floor with her ass

Or you can choose to face it rooted firmly in your earth
Nanna states – coming forward

Do not allow your truth to whoop you – but face its discomfort
Knowing that you can handle it

The quiet and graceful earth mother has hovered in the background
Surrendering space to the fiery Almah
Who has loomed large in Hardliner’s dome

Every being serves a purpose in your life
You need things from Almah and Renah that I cannot give you

Hardliner is bowled over by Nanna’s graceful presence
The earth mother moves with an unconquerable inner strength
And it is only after a small length of time does she realise
That they are casually strolling on Hardliner’s earth
The same expansive soil that the three earth mothers
Instructed her to till

It looks like it gats some life in it baby
Nanna comments with a gentle smile
That makes Hardliner want to reach out of herself
And hug her – real tight- real childlike
Lawd – what is happening to her?
A sudden sentiment penetrating her badass armour
Maybe she is experiencing some inner child drama

Why would you think that wanting to hug someone
Is an outgrowth of your inner child blues?
Why do you feel discomfort in the wanting
Of a loving embrace?

Now Ms. Nanna may be all quiet and graceful
But she aint no slouch
Her counselling still hits home in the right places

Like I said – we are needed differently
But needed all the same

And true to character Ms. Nanna waits patiently
For Hardliner come to this new understanding of herself

Well Ms. Nanna carries an energy that makes Hardliner
Feel all vulnerable and what not
Like sista gurl could just curl up in her embrace
As if she were a safe harbour from life’s drama
Hardliner realises that this is Ms. Nanna’s game
She is showing how to how to inhabit her uncomfortable
Spaces with grace

You feel that baby?
Nanna smiles – rapture giving life to her face
As her feet burrow into Hardliner’s earth
Umph – you tilled well
There is a difference in your earth
It is moist – fertile and fragrant
And the time approaches for planting new energies

Hardliner don’t like the sound of that
All this new energies talk smells a whole lot like hugs
And kisses and being open like Snow White
And a sista gats issues with that little…
She stops herself from taking it there
And Nanna smiles – fully aware of what there means
Nevertheless Hardliner is happy she is in the place
Where she does not feel it right to wild out on anything or anyone
So she gon just call Snow White a heffa and keep it movin’

She gives Nanna the side eye
To see if her little joke bombed
She is met with the kind of stare that reaches into her soul

Causing sista to shiver

Let’s continue walking baby
Ms. Nanna states –her expression unreadable

Hardliner feels somewhat ashamed
Heyul – she was only jiving
And Nanna gives her that “oh negro please” kinda look
She can at least read that one!
O.K. sista gurl admits that she was attempting to stall the process

You know baby – when you are ripened
When you reach that golden age where
All you can do is sit back and reap all
What you have sown in your life
Would it not be marvelous to say to yourself
“And it was very good?”

Hardliner takes objection to her line of questioning
Like she aint kicked the bucket yet
She is hardly a prune

Slay your Ego child
Ms. Nanna counters – her tone gats some bite to it
You are in your middle years
Though harvest time soon approaches
Have you ever heard of a little too late?
Time is stealthy – and it can come upon you like a drive by
Before you know it – that thief has robbed you of your life’s purpose
But you already know this and yet you still flow like
Tomorrow has your back
Little girl tomorrow aint your friend –
You are borrowing from tomorrow what you do today

Somewhere deep in her gut resounds an Amen!

If you continue hide behind your walls of fear
You will never know what it feels like to be able
To freely express your inner being
You cannot live your Nirvana without meeting the world in eye
And with an open and honest heart
Your cynicism of life will reap a poor harvest
But luckily for you – your spirit wants this change
The time master has set a course for you
And God has a way of getting what he wants
Even if he has to rough you up
To gut you and scoop out all the unworthiness out of you

They have stopped their casual stroll now
And Hardliner finds that they are standing
In the very centre of her earth
What is it that you feel God put you on this Earth to do baby?
Nanna asks

To help people come to a place of healing

You are called to serve – yes
But how can you give of yourself
From a cup half full?
How can you help anyone to mend their brokenness
In whatever form if you withhold yourself from the process
You are guarded child
How can you give yourself without your heart?
And you are so gifted – a true healer

Lawd –Ms. Nanna is doing it again
Peering into her soul with those eyes
Hardliner admits to the truth
She has kept her loved ones at a certain distance
She is there for them – but she has not invested herself in them
She reminds herself of her mama issues
When was the last time she spoke to her mama?
Sista don’t call – hardly emails anything worth anything
Aint no heart warming connection maintained there
Despite the fact that she feels barren about her Mother situation
Hardliner tells herself that her days are overflowing
With the monotony of life
That routine plus drama keeps her too busy and lazy for chit chat
Ms. Nanna gives her another “oh negro please” stare down

Keep on lying to yourself baby – but your spirit has depth now
You have not tilled your earth for nothing
You are at that place where your lies don’t feed you anymore
Laziness and busyness are your excuses for blocking people out
And you have been running that game from childhood

Oh Ms. Nanna gats some ruffneck in her
Dang labour has rolled up on her surreptitiously again
Whilst she folds into deep gusts of breaths
Hardliner thinks back on what Nanna said
About giving from an empty cup
True dat – she has to be more emotionally accessible
Hardliner knows this – but resistance is that bitch
It does not back down – it fights real dirty

Who is stronger Hardliner?
Rebuke the spirit of resistance – bind it and throw
It back to where it came from
It uses your false beliefs against you
Rebuke it – choose to go in the opposite direction

Yes she has no excuse
For as long as she could remember
The image she portrays is less than half of who she really is
Thus people’s perception of her is based on
Her game of smoke and mirrors
Then when sista is mistreated – and unfairly judged
She only has herself to blame because the image she
Sells is but a mirage
Oooooooooooh – umph – dem labour pains hit like a thug!
Hardliner crashes to her earth

How you see folks baby – is how they see you
Ms. Nanna extends her hand to Hardliner
Who wordlessly takes it then rises

It is true that Hardliner has viewed people
Even her family and friends with guarded eyes
Giving only a portion of herself to avoid the pain
Of rejection and betrayal

So you are perceived as a Hardliner
A perception you too have nurtured

Gawd Ms. Nanna

What else baby?
Nevertheless Nanna guides her through this awareness

My mistrust of the world – of people
Led me to become a recluse – hiding inside my own world
And when I would come out of it
I was insecure – unassertive – painfully shy
And feeling like the world was a big bad wolf
And so people treated me any which way they could
Because I seemed weak and defenseless
Lawd – her knees are buckling again
But she straightens them and digs her heals into her earth

Ms. Nanna looks upon her with pride
But now you are seeing the world with a new pair of eyes
There is a gravity to you baby
You are not the same scrawny little thing you used to be
And that is even as far back as yesterday

Hardliner wears the look of peace on her face
A peace that has suddenly crept upon her
And dare say – sista is pimping grace under fire
She looks down and sees that her feet are planted in her earth
And her toes are ecstatically wiggling – getting their joy on

You are a healer Boo
And the greatest source for healing is Mother Earth
Your gift is in your hands – apart from second sight

Well gardening aint her thang
On account of all them worms – centipedes and creepy crawlies
Nervously – she looks down at her blissed-out feet
And she sure as heyul aint keen on the second sight thing
Just leave that mess alone

One gift at a time
Ms. Nanna counsels with a mysterious smile

Serious though – yall could leave that one out all together

When God looks at you baby-
He knows what he has made in you –
And it is very good

Yeh – Ms. Nanna aint no slouch
She knows all Hardliner’s secret places

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