2019 was the year that Anxiety showed up and
Showed out in Hardliner’s life
Up until then it had always lurked in the shadows
But became ‘that bitch’ in 2019
Putting a beat down – all ‘Arya Stark’ mode on her ass
Which lead to gurlfriend popping anxiety pills at night
Just to get her sleep right
Basically – sista gurl spent most of 2019 witnessing
Her life bleeding out in shades of grey
And she only has one freaking question
What the heyul happened to her life?
The one that she envisioned winning three and a half years ago
Her victory dance has become a death waltz
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The Queen is slaying soul
Its grace giving life to every leaf – flower
And blade of grass carpeting Hardliner’s rolling hills
Hardliner finds comfort from her rendition
Of that Beatles classic ‘Let it be’
Few artistes could slay a cover – transposing it into an original
Well – Auntie Re-Re is gone now
Her Queen of Soul title unchallenged
Just like those of the King of Pop and the Godfather of Soul
Can nobody assume these hallowed musical thrones

Another story told – Ms Rennah states with a soft smile
Tugging the corners of her mouth – her eyes focusing on
Something only she could see
They are lounging in the shade of a giant oak
She runs her fingers through the fragrant grass
That seems to shimmer beyond the shady boundary of the tree
The Earth Mother suddenly turns – her eyes gleaming –
Sharply focused on Hardliner – what is your story chile?
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It has not gone unnoticed by Hardliner
That even on dreary days
With lightning slicing the sky amidst peals of thunder
Dem rolling hills still rock beauty
The smell of torrential rain clogs the air
Which is a nightmare about to bear fruit for a weave queen
Ignoring the churning in her stomach
Denial has her wondering how in the world
This diva is about to meet and greet a storm
The wind is picking up now – the rain is about to throw down
And there aint a dayum shelter in sight
Meanwhile Ms Rennah manifests serenity in looming chaos
She is a vision – garbed in flowing golden robes
Reminding Hardliner of a shaft of light piercing the gloom
The question posed to Hardliner by the Earth Mother guide
About the difference between being alone
And feeling lonely has been playing dodgeball in her mind
For an extended period – gifting her this here gut churning experience
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Ok girl – you back on good earth
The newness of life hits her full bodied
As Hardliner surveys her new habitat
It has taken about minute for sista gurl to birth her way
Out of the womb like space she has inhabited
Without the grace of light illuminating the birth canal
And it took a couple more minutes and then some
For clarity to penetrate the stupor of victimhood over her situation
With the realisation that whining about the nonexistence
Of that hallowed light to guide her to safety
Was doing a girl no favours and that sista had best
Light up that canal her dayumed self
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Yes yall – this is a good day
Hardliner aint felt this good in a long time
The newness of spring is here –
Hope and joy cleave to her skin like a sweet fragrance
And India Arie’s ‘strength Courage and Wisdom’
Is giving the Yellow Brick Road life
Heyul – even the Sun is slaying a mean electric slide
Sweating golden showers of light upon the earth
C’mon now –
Hardliner is laying out that canary coloured brick with her groove
Like nobody’s business
Cause that intro is everythang – “inside my head there lives a dream
That I want to see in the sun
Behind my eyes there lives a me that
I’ve been hiding for much too long
Cause I’ve been, too afraid to let it show
Cause I’m scared of the judgment that may follow
Always putting off my living for tomorrow” – Go’head Ms. India
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The bitter taste of fear has numbed her pallet and
Dried out her tongue like a forgotten carpet left out in the sun
Lawd – she crossed oceans to get her life
Umph – she aint even gonna go there
Cause fear will tag up with doubt and anger
And dem three gon woo a stroke
Sista is too fly for facial paralysis
Hardliner shivers – as that February winter breeze
Guts her bones – bringing her tear ducts to overflow
She looks up to heavy grey skies – that pimp pisstossity
Spring better wake the hell up soon
She needs some hope right now
Since faith bolted like a runaway slave
Hardliner can even bother to squeeze more life
Out of this woe is me rant Continue reading

2017 is rounding the corner and alas
Hardliner has been slapped upside the head by an obstacle
High jacking her progress on the seemingly
Endless Yellow Brick Road
Sista is here again – with a certain issue
That has morphed into this bitch-ass mountain
Imposing itself in between herself and the Emerald City
Defying her attempts to get her bask on
In all that beatific green aura
This here mountain has decided that it aint ah going no-wheres
Leaving sista to mill over her options
Now unless she gon be gifted with supernatural powers
She can’t go through all this here rock
She sure as hell aint gon climb that beast
Cause – well – she aint no Sisyphus Continue reading