What is a girl to do when her stars are misaligned

Her chakras are jacked and wait – her inner chile is pimping

Separation anxiety by shadowing her every move?

Well a girl – eh- this gurl is at Pisstossity Station

About to board a train to Pisstocity Ville

What is a girl to do when her stars are misaligned

And this is not a woe is me rant

This here is a conscious decision

To feel how she feel and fuck it to hell

Ooooooh – her salt runneth over

And it tastes as good as a bag of Cheetos

Spiritually this aint a good look for Hardliner

But crazy is all she gats to work with right now

Here comes the train

As Hardliner hustles into a good spot to board  

She spots a familiar face on the opposite platform

That goes ghost in two blinks a wink – against the backdrop of a whizzing train

Sista tries to override the unsettled feeling in her gut

With the affirmation that she is overreaching

Never mind that trickle of pee cruising down her right leg

Umph – not today Jesus

Sista gon catch that rain

Anxiety gats her stomach turning and twisting into a pretzel

Continue reading

Hardliner’s sun is grooving – its golden rays spurting ebullience
As a benediction on sista gurl’s rolling hills

“Hold up yuh lighter and come
Flame inna di air, fire haffi burn
Holla from a top of a mountain and cry
Tell ’em seh my love will never die”

Koffee’s big tune – ‘The Harder they Fall’ is pure fyah
Hardliner experiences it’s rhythm as licks of fire
That pool at the base of her spine
She’s none the wiser as to why this here song resonates in her being
Maybe it’s because it brings her back to the time in her life
When reggae pulled up to her digs and whisked her off
Like some rogue prince – laying claim to her heart
As well as the title of her first love
Or maybe she is reliving those Friday night limes in Dub House
Being wooed by riddim and bass
But one way or another she is West Indian to the bone
Revelling in the beauty of and feeling buoyed by a defining culture Continue reading

It seems that sista gurl has been waiting for READY to
Hit planet Hardliner for dayum near her entire life
However – that perfect state of READINESS has been elusive
As a full hairline on a weave queen
What Hardliner has learned is that there is no one magic button
To turn on READINESS
A sista gats to pull readiness out of crevice, crack or bottomless black
Through the sheer force of will if she gats to get her life
Now Hardliner is tired – battling oneself is an exhaustive messy business
Without outright inviting the woe is me soliloquy to slay her centre stage
Hardliner feels the need to compromise by allowing a little self-pity
To light up her downstage left
A sista gats to have something to work with Continue reading

Yasssss a sista is pimping resistance right now
She is just gon come out and be real with this here situation
Hardliner aint wanna do no inner child work
She aint in the mood for no Sweet Chile drama
Spiritual Awareness can crawl right back up her nether regions
She aint gats time today

Oooh Chile you better clean that up
Ms. Renna appears in her path – her perceptive stare eats up
Every flash of emotion in Hardliner’s eyes
Before sista could even pull off a decent poker face

I aint in the mood Ms. Rennah

As if Spirit cares about what you want chile – the wise
Earth Mother replies as her eyes take in sista’s emotional landscape Continue reading

2019 was the year that Anxiety showed up and
Showed out in Hardliner’s life
Up until then it had always lurked in the shadows
But became ‘that bitch’ in 2019
Putting a beat down – all ‘Arya Stark’ mode on her ass
Which lead to gurlfriend popping anxiety pills at night
Just to get her sleep right
Basically – sista gurl spent most of 2019 witnessing
Her life bleeding out in shades of grey
And she only has one freaking question
What the heyul happened to her life?
The one that she envisioned winning three and a half years ago
Her victory dance has become a death waltz
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The Queen is slaying soul
Its grace giving life to every leaf – flower
And blade of grass carpeting Hardliner’s rolling hills
Hardliner finds comfort from her rendition
Of that Beatles classic ‘Let it be’
Few artistes could slay a cover – transposing it into an original
Well – Auntie Re-Re is gone now
Her Queen of Soul title unchallenged
Just like those of the King of Pop and the Godfather of Soul
Can nobody assume these hallowed musical thrones

Another story told – Ms Rennah states with a soft smile
Tugging the corners of her mouth – her eyes focusing on
Something only she could see
They are lounging in the shade of a giant oak
She runs her fingers through the fragrant grass
That seems to shimmer beyond the shady boundary of the tree
The Earth Mother suddenly turns – her eyes gleaming –
Sharply focused on Hardliner – what is your story chile?
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It has not gone unnoticed by Hardliner
That even on dreary days
With lightning slicing the sky amidst peals of thunder
Dem rolling hills still rock beauty
The smell of torrential rain clogs the air
Which is a nightmare about to bear fruit for a weave queen
Ignoring the churning in her stomach
Denial has her wondering how in the world
This diva is about to meet and greet a storm
The wind is picking up now – the rain is about to throw down
And there aint a dayum shelter in sight
Meanwhile Ms Rennah manifests serenity in looming chaos
She is a vision – garbed in flowing golden robes
Reminding Hardliner of a shaft of light piercing the gloom
The question posed to Hardliner by the Earth Mother guide
About the difference between being alone
And feeling lonely has been playing dodgeball in her mind
For an extended period – gifting her this here gut churning experience
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Ok girl – you back on good earth
The newness of life hits her full bodied
As Hardliner surveys her new habitat
It has taken about minute for sista gurl to birth her way
Out of the womb like space she has inhabited
Without the grace of light illuminating the birth canal
And it took a couple more minutes and then some
For clarity to penetrate the stupor of victimhood over her situation
With the realisation that whining about the nonexistence
Of that hallowed light to guide her to safety
Was doing a girl no favours and that sista had best
Light up that canal her dayumed self
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Yes yall – this is a good day
Hardliner aint felt this good in a long time
The newness of spring is here –
Hope and joy cleave to her skin like a sweet fragrance
And India Arie’s ‘strength Courage and Wisdom’
Is giving the Yellow Brick Road life
Heyul – even the Sun is slaying a mean electric slide
Sweating golden showers of light upon the earth
C’mon now –
Hardliner is laying out that canary coloured brick with her groove
Like nobody’s business
Cause that intro is everythang – “inside my head there lives a dream
That I want to see in the sun
Behind my eyes there lives a me that
I’ve been hiding for much too long
Cause I’ve been, too afraid to let it show
Cause I’m scared of the judgment that may follow
Always putting off my living for tomorrow” – Go’head Ms. India
Continue reading

The bitter taste of fear has numbed her pallet and
Dried out her tongue like a forgotten carpet left out in the sun
Lawd – she crossed oceans to get her life
Umph – she aint even gonna go there
Cause fear will tag up with doubt and anger
And dem three gon woo a stroke
Sista is too fly for facial paralysis
Hardliner shivers – as that February winter breeze
Guts her bones – bringing her tear ducts to overflow
She looks up to heavy grey skies – that pimp pisstossity
Spring better wake the hell up soon
She needs some hope right now
Since faith bolted like a runaway slave
Hardliner can even bother to squeeze more life
Out of this woe is me rant Continue reading