Gawd dayum – how long a sista gats to put up
With this bitch ass ice cold weather
Valhalla aint no joke – and it sure as heyul aint for black folk
Nevertheless she is here – brought by Oya’s transforming winds
After transcending some of her deep seated issues
Valhalla was a sign of her spiritual elevation
And sista gurl milked this victory for all its worth
But now the high has worn off – she’s bored
A little ticked off and cold as mutha fu – umph
Anyway – aint no feel good herbs can grow in that frozen ground

Hardliner’s Irates have promised her the sweetness of life
If she keeps the fires of faith burning
Eh heh – well sista gurl don’t quite put much stock
In what she cannot see
Sista gurl is still waiting for that over played
Abundance Theory to work some miracles in her life
And she is talking as big as the Moon birthing the Sun from its ass
Is that gon be anytime soon – by the way?
She hurls her impatience at her ever present Irates –
Guardian angels / spiritual guides /high consciousness /whatever

An exuberant frosty gust of wind greets her
Seeping into her bones and Hardliner cusses inwardly
Cause aint no retort can get by her clattering teeth

“Faith without works is dead Boo” comes their dry response
“In other words your half assed belief coupled with laziness
Will get you nothing but pisstossicity”

Lawd – that cold front gon be the death of her
It has put down roots inside her core
But she will handle this breakthrough like
The Valhalla warrior that she is
First awf – she will admit that she is a cynic

“And a pessimist”
She gon let that one slide
Either because of the ague seizing her boyo (core)
Or on the account that they could be right

“Thank you”

Anyway – and having said this – Hardliner wonders
Whether she would have been a skeptic of Jes-us Christ
Back in the day when he went around fixing lame folks
And making the blind see
Oh – and that Lazerous vybe would have most probably
Stretched her belief system- heyul busted it like an elastic band
If she didn’t witness that miracle with her two eyes
Plus the one in the middle of her forehead
Hardliner’s introspection crosses sacrilegious boundaries
Even for her inner ratchet –
Who fervently crosses herself a couple of times

Hey – she is down with Jesus
There aint no amount of immortal Viking balls that
Can make her brave enough to sass the Son of God

But dang it – she can’t help but to wonder
Would she have been a denouncer or believer of the Messiah
If she was real with herself right now she’ll have to admit that
Back in Jesus’ Jerusalem she would have been 50/50
Until seeing his wondrous miracles with all three eyes
That beautiful – radical – societal outcast
Raised a leper from his death bed – stone cold man
Snatching his spirit from the light and placing it
Back into his body – keeping his flesh earthbound
Somewhere deep within Hardliner a voice echoes hallelujah
Cause she knows that some heavy energy rotation
And communion between Jesus and the Great I Am
Must have gone down to put breath back into Lazarus

This right here is the true test for the Modern Christian
Cause if a black man – without a trace of blue blood
Lacking a formal education – with a following of hustlers and hoes
Went about asking people to check themselves
Spreading fire with his insurgent rhetoric against
This capitalistic and materialistic society and ticking AWF
Today’s Pharisees and political Mafiosi
Dayum near everybody would want a piece of him
And not in the Alpha and Omega way
The CIA – FBI – INTERPOL – Al-Qaeda – and HAMAS
Would all vie to whack him
Hardliner knows a good many God fearing Christian folk
Who reckon that they’re covered by that holy blood –
But who – in all likelihood would treat 21st century Jes-us Christ
With the impatience normally reserved for the ill timed
Door to door Jehovah Witness missionaries

Her inner ratchet – crosses herself –
And this time she is liberal with holy water

‘Hardliner where are you going with this thing?”
Their polite interjection has brought
Her down from her lofty thought process

Hardliner purses her lips like she wanna unleash some sass
After all they have been on at her with keeping the faith
She was just breaking down for them that’s all

“No Boo – here is the real break down
You have decreed a holy war on faith”

Their unfailing tranquility chafes her
She rolls her eyes skywards – holy war – whatever

“Be Christ like boo – after all
Your preamble is dedicated to him
Speaking of miracles – let’s say Ms Moon
Has done gon birthed the Sun outta her ass
What is it you think you would gain from witnessing this miracle?
Would it infuse strength into in your spine?
Would it enrich your spirit?
Would it teach you anything about yourself?
Would it have healed any of your wounds?
Would it have built trust in the Almighty to hold you up?
Would it validate that Abundance theory?
Would it …”

Ok – ok – Hardliner tries to stem the flow of their real talk
Their criticism is loose and free swinging – hitting home hard
Like Serena Williams on a demolition rampage
And that diva wields a racket like Popeye on Spinach
All of a sudden this lesson appears more than elementary
This right here gats the feel and taste of
Something she knows is too big to birth outta her …
Umph – ooooh Lawd – she just can’t help herself
Aint no amount of holy water can tame her inner ratchet
But nevertheless – HELP
Cause I can’t birth this thang on my own

“What are you striving for baby girl?”

Like are yall serious?
After this psycho cold Valhalla wind is freezing up
All her parts and crevices
She cries out to her angels for help and they ask her
What she is striving for? – is that a trick question?

“Hardliner we are not going to spoon feed you”
You need to score this victory for yourself”

She ponders on their question
There is a listless energy that has added
An indigestible flavor to that Valhalla wind
It has been beating her ass up for some time now
What the hell does she do with this energy

“Surrender it to the Universe – and don’t be selfish Boo
Give it up completely – with faith that the Universe has your back
You know you aren’t really being honest with yourself right now
What are you striving for Hardliner” they ask again

Perfection seems to want to come to mind
But she aint dumb enough to entertain it

“Why?”

Because no being but the Great I Am is perfect
So why would she be striving for perfection
There is no such thing in human context

“But your first thought was perfection Boo
So now the next question is what are you trying to control?”

Hardliner exhales and sits in her truth
She is trying to control the events of her perfectly thought out life
And they have the gall to appear not in the way she envisioned
She has assumed the Alpa and Omega role in her life
And doing a real jacked up job of it too
The energy she feels is one of frustration
And worry that things are not going down
The way she planned and that she has to depend
On faith to get to where she needs to go

“So what is it that you strive for?” her Irates are relentless

Control – to be able to keep all her hopes and dreams from
The claws of ill fate –
She allows this discovery to rock her core
And in this space of clarity – Hardliner scores her victory
Faith requires stepping into a vulnerable space
It involves a certain risk of opening up her heart to believe
In something that she cannot see
It requires that she risks her heart being broken if
Things don’t turn out ok –
Being the cynic that she is – Hardliner needs confirmation
That everything gon be alright

“When we offer it – you are still not open to believe it”

Naw man – sista-gurl is looking for proof

“So where does faith come in mama?”

Good question