Misdemeanor Diva Chronicles: Wading in Shit

Standard

One million steps forward
Two freaking million backward
All Hardliner seems to be doing these days
Is wading through her heavy shit
She is overwhelmed with all the self awareness up in her dome
Which by the way has catapulted her no further than her big toe
Sure she has acknowledged her damaged inner child – Sweet Chile

But her daddy abandonment issues still on occasion resurface in her life
And if the shate aint deep enough
It has piled to meet her friggin waist cause Daddy is in town
Awww heyul to da friggin no!

“Take a chill pill baby girl” Her Irates soothe
“And think about what this opportunity can bring to your life”

Dang – something told her to pray this morning

“Go figure” comes the dispassionate reply

And that more than anything makes Hardliner
To want to go awf
How the fuck does one go awf on the Universe
Without it boomeranging to slap the black off them
What other opportunity is there other than for
The man to emotionally jack her up

“Stop fighting – let it flow
It is the journey and not the results
That builds spiritual muscle
What does it serve you to hold on to this anger towards your father Boo”

Hardliner aint gats time for their jive
All she knows is that if that mutha f*#!@ thinks she gon call him

“You will Hardliner” Her Irates interject
“Your Nirvana is unfolding like a lotus flower
You can’t prevent its blooming”

Uumph –
But she can cut the sucker’s little bud off
Shit
She takes a deep breath
Acknowledging that even for her that was too ratchet
But she is battling her fears now
Cause control is being wrestled outta her hands
As she is being forced to face her daddy demons
Within herself Hardliner knows that year 40
Will bring Oya – goddess of change and transition to her door step
And that diva’s winds aint no joke
Uprooting thangs and tearing them apart
For cleansing energy to flow in the wake of her destruction
Hardliner could taste her salty mellifluous winds on the horizon
Cause at the moment the Goddess is gently wooing Shango
Who squanders his lightning and thunder
For her sultry beauty and sweet talk
And after his unfaithful spine has been broken
Oya gon dance up to Hardliner’s door
Pull sista gurl outta her digs like she one of Shango’s hoes
And whoop her ass

“We’ve been down this road before Hardliner
Change is not all bad
It brings forth the energy of reconciliation
And there is beauty in transforming from the inside
Coming into your power shatters every false belief
And every myth about yourself
Don’t cop out now Boo
The noise only gets louder as you transcend your shit
Why are you wading – when you could be transcending
You let your inner noise tie you to the shit
And what is the only way to drown out that inner noise”

Her ass shudda prayed this mornin

“No shit”

How can she transcend the feeling
That she don’t care for her hustle
Cause it don’t change jack
She just don’t wanna be there

“Yet you are too afraid to move”
Her Irates cut in

It is overwhelming

“Get passed it – you are more than that”

These words are sooooooo two dimensional
They don’t live in my space – 3 fucking D

“Ooooooooh gurl take the fugly down
You’re channeling Sweet Chile
Suck it up Hardliner” the Irates snap
“Enlightenment don’t come with body pads
Yes – it can herald Oya’s wrath
But after her storm comes rebirth
Stop thinking of all the things that can go wrong
Hell Hardliner why don’t you just stop thinking
Your drive for control is keeping you in the shit
All you have right now is some insight into your future
The Universe has not made you privy to its plan
The Great I am is in control – not you
You can’t control jack shit
Cause you still wading waist deep in it
Transcend baby-girl
What the hell you gats to lose”

Umph – from where she stands – dead centre in Oya’s path
Apparently everything is not everythang

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