Misdemeanor Diva Chronicles: This Little Light

Standard

This little light of mine
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I’m gonna let it shine

Hardliner is born again
Giving thanks and praise at the Holy Mt. Zion
Soul revival – love thy self – living life in the light of
Christ in whose name all things are possible
So that I can evolve into the budda-seer I was born to be
Rock of Ages Episcopal Church – halleluyur!

Let it shine – let it shine – let it shine

After an exorcism
One has to get right with God
Hardliner is stoned on her truth
Her flow was so hardcore that her Irates performed
An exorcism of Ego on her delinquent ass
And she is floored that her issues run deep as the Ganges
Stemming seemingly from dear old daddy
Muthafuc- umph – gurl you in church -you don’t wanna soil your grace
Hardliner reminds herself
It is just that she’s done tried every thing
To shed her spirit of her daddy issues
Reciting the mantra I forgive my father
Thirty-five times twice a day for seven days
Prayed – eh when she could – about it
Meditated – feeling the weight drop from
Her soul like a heavy sack of potatoes
Even calling up the muth – man
To let him know she and he were all good
Cause she released him from her heart
But dem issues die harder than Bruce Willis
So what is she gon do?
Sheeeit even her illiterate slave wants to
Hand back her freedom papers

“The best place to look would be Sweet Chile”

Oh Lawd – her Inner child woes
It has not been easy trying to grow up Sweet Chile
She is a problem child

“Though your five year old self
Seems to be the keeper of all your keys baby girl
Your inner child is at the heart of most of your drama binges
Yet she plays the victim then runs into your Ego’s protective embrace”

Suddenly Sweet Chile don’t seem too sweet

“Aint children master manipulators?”

Hardliner never wanted to touch Sweet Chile
Preferring to ignore her like a bored aristocratic mother

“So you gratefully handed her over to Nanny Ego to raise
And what does an ignored child do best Boo?”

This therapy session is jacked up
But she gon have to pull up her big girl panties
And take onus for raising a bad-ass kid
Giving Sweetz a free reign of petulancy
Indulgence and manipulation
But really she gats to apologise to Sweet Chile
For not validating her feelings
And being ashamed of her soft core
To let her know that she is enough
That her daddy did the best he could with what he had
And if she were to open herself up love
Yes the deliciously sweet kind
Her heart would not be sentenced to death
By abandonment and infidelity

“Well tell her that” – the Irates egg her on

Lawd that is so freakishly soppy
The chile done heard every thang I just said

“Old habits die hard
But like the Pyramids of El Gyza
They are not immune to erosion”

Her Irates are hell bent on taking down her pyramids
One grain of sand at a time if they have to

“You know what you have to do baby girl
Don’t make this more painful than it already is”

This is cloying – I don’t do cloying
Yall know that – c’mon now
But Hardliner knows she can do better than this
She faces her five year old self

Sweetz I am sorry I abandoned you
But little girl you gats to grow up now
Daddy’s flight was not because you were
Not good enough for him to stay
He did not fight to keep you
Not because you were unworthy
This was just part of your life experience
His beef now is with God – not you
Let that shit go Sweetz
It’s time to give me back my keys
I can handle all your secret fears
I can inhabit all your secret places
Ego is not your safe place anymore – I am
I am in the driver’s seat now
Trust me Sweet Chile – I am ready to handle our stuff
Give me my keys

Hardliner is still uncertain that this will work
Aint nobody can nurse a he done me wrong like Sweet Chile

“You need to sit in this Hardliner
Experience your inner child’s pain
Forgive yourself for thinking that you are not enough
Forgive your daddy for his abandonment
It will take some time Boo
There is no miracle 12 step progamme
But you are on your way to embodying that powerful woman within you
You did good kid – this session was heavy
But then again you are a warrior
And great warriors are honed by fierce battle
Not too shabby at all”

Yeh – she’ll take that
Let it shine – let it shine – let it shine

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s