High Queen Chronicles: Disappearing bloodlines

Standard

Blood is thicker than water
Gawd – there are some real stupid ass clichés out there
Trying to create profundity outta the simple truth
Everybody and their mama knows that blood…
Hardliner stops her rant in mid flow
Cause Hatshepsut has put the I can see right through you
Type of fix on her – the most intimidating stare down that
Sista gurl has ever come across
That right there is a Diva with some balls – or more like
A Diva who could crush balls without batting and eye

Why do you think you are here sister
The Grand High Queen cuts to the chase
Her voice soft – reverberating power
That shakes Hardliner to her core
Dang – don’t that woman ever smile
Or at least put some smile in her tone
Still she is met with the stare down
Hatshepsut knows Hardliner’s game of run nigger run
She deftly interrupts her pattern of deflection with silence
A paralyzing – heavy sweating and nail biting silence
Until sista gurl cracks or more like her balls break

There is no circumventing this bitc- eh Queen
Hardliner looks about for a flying shoe
Though she gats the feeling that Hatshepsut’s whoop ass is more insidious
You gats any Asps hanging around sister
Antiquity has it that Cleopatra was found of the vile little suckers
Hardliner aint into snakes
Anything that moves around on its stomach cannot be trusted

I have lots of bits and bobs
And all test the measure of a woman
Who is in High queen training
Again – and listen well sister – I do not ask more than twice
Why do you think you are here?

Hardliner swallows – casting a wary look at the High Queen
Dang her Irates – “is she bad enough”
Dayum woman is crushing her balls
She don’t know how to address the question
And an asp is about to lay into her ass at any moment

Breathe deeply sista
Find your centre and sit there for a moment
Acknowledge the wisdom within

Hardliner gives up the fight and succumbs
To the truth laying at the heart of her discomfort
She has siblings that she aint spoken to in almost seven years
And there are some inherited from her daddy
Who she has never met
The latter situation aint really an issue with her
But the situation with her two maternal siblings
Has started the familiar spiritual ache
That could herald the reemergence of Cock-eyed Sue
The last time that heffa nearly rendered her blind

Because you resisted your breakthrough
You resisted until the deep ache in your soul
Rendered you cock-eyed
She is around the corner Hardliner

Oh Lawd have mercy
She is here because she feels the absence of
The two people who were birthed from the same womb as her
Hardliner acknowledges that this admission
Demands her to stand in a place of vulnerability
A place she loathes to be in

What does it take out of you sister to be in
A place of vulnerability

Hatshepsut probes

Strength
Pride to admit that something is lacking in her life
They say that the first admission is to oneself
And it is the hardest

And have you not just done this
What do you plan to do about repairing
Your relationship with your siblings?

Hardliner thinks first before mouthing awf
She don’t want no Asps all up in her grill
But really what relationship?
Can she say that she has ever been a sister to any one?
Up until of late she has not thought of her siblings
It is has been outta sight – outta mind
For most of her life
Being raised on separate continents and all

Say it sister
Hatshepsut urges

Hardliner takes a deep ass breath
Yeh – it bothers her
If ever there was a sign of her blossoming enlightenment
It is this one
The Irates’ mantra ring through her head
“When you know better – you do better”

But there is so much stuff between them
Stuff that remains unsaid and unacknowledged
Maybe her blood kin may be content to live this way
But inwardly Hardliner knows that this aint an option for her
As her Nirvana is unfolding – whether she wants it to or not
She cannot dwell on the mistakes made by the adults in her life
Mistakes that dictated her life as a child
Now as an adult – wearing her grown ass panties
And birthin’ many painful breakthroughs on her journey
Of self-fulfillment
Hardliner can now define her boundaries in relationships –
Choose who to let in her life
And meet each relationship with honesty and without expectation
She knows that she is risking reaching out
At the expense of a rebuff
Who knows – maybe the mood for reconciliation across
The pond may be positive as well
Dang – this breakthrough is a bitch – though not reeking of
Excessive drama – typical of her other breakthroughs
Nah – this one right here gats the flavor of
A silence infused Scientology birth
But make no mistake – Hardliner is still fighting the process
Because internally she cringes at the thought of reaching out
To her estranged brothers
Ego would be having a cardiac arrest by now – run nigger run
Cause her kin folk aint exactly keen to reach out to her either
And she could hear the Irates saying
If no one moves – then what

Hardliner exhales into the answer
She is doing this for her
This is about her spiritual cleansing
So she gon step out of her comfort zone
And step into her vulnerability
With a clear intent to just touch base and see what happens
That is all she can do right now
Hardliner looks at the Grand High Queen squarely in the face
From Queen to Queen a look of understanding passes between them
Their electric current singing the air
One day sista gurl gon be able to harness
That badass force of energy within her
And she gon move mountains
One day – not yet

But soon sister – soon

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