High Queen Chronicles: The Art of Forgiveness

Standard

Hardliner is mulling over a cliché lodged in her mind
About something is to forgive and to err is human
The dayum thing won’t let her get a moment’s peace
And from the familiar heavenly sent wafting through her dome
Hardliner senses that vacation in the absence of her Irates
May be coming to a screeching halt – not that it has
Been one with the Queen of badass – Hatshepsut either
Oh – what da heyul is that tired ass cliché?

I believe it is – “to err human to forgive is divine”
The Grand High Queen supplies the answer

Bingo!
There it is – but you could have told me right from the off
Instead of letting me sweat over the thang like woman possessed
Yeh – to err is human – to forgive is divine
And the point is?
Sista gurl is so not impressed
Cause it does not take a genius to figure out
That this Kumbaya jive is the handwork of her Irates

No sister
God is trying to tell you something

Um humph
She rolls her eyes at the reference to
Her favourite scene in The Colour Purple
The best dayum movie of all time – by the way
When Shug Avery tears down that church with the song
“Maybe God is trying to tell you something“
And gains forgiveness from her Pastor Father
“See daddy – sinners have souls too”
Umph – have mercy
Hardliner could feel the swell of emotion mounting –
Fixing to erupt into an ugly cry
How appropriate – yall gon use The Colour Purple on me
She directs the accusation at her omnipresent Irates
As she begins to feel her reserves wilting
Under the powerful truth of the Great I Am

God is trying to tell you something sister
Light and joy will only reign in your world
When you become one with forgiveness
Lay down thy weapons

Man – she is tired of that phrase

And you will continue to hear it until
You appear before your Heavenly Father naked
Without your armour of hubris – rage – fear –
Bitterness – mistrust and resentment
Come to him like a child seeking only his love and protection
He has said “come to me all who are wary and I will give you rest”

Hardliner almost buckles under the weight of this truth
Yet – even so – barely standing
Sista gurl is still doing her war dance
Fighting off a dayum fugly cry – whilst trying to rise above
The tide of forgiveness – threatening to demolish
The fortress she has painstakingly built from
Her tears – blood – sweat and anger
Right now her heart can’t take no mo’ drama

But you are prepared to sacrifice your soul
How can you pray to God to fix your situation
With your fists shut tight sister?
By refusing to kneel before the altar of forgiveness
You cast your prayers away like pearls to swine

Dang – the biblical references are bordering on overkill now
Yeh – she could cut the rude attitude
Since she knows it doesn’t take her anywhere
Beyond Pisstossicity Ville and an Asp bite
But all this forgiveness jive comes at a steep price
Being that people will continue to drive a stake into her heart
If she keeps letting them off the hook each time
Like she gats a Do it Again sign on her back
Hardliner knows that this is her rage talking
But really within herself she also knows that
The process of forgiveness benefits her more than the other party
It is a sure way to finding and keeping peace in her soul
Like Ms. Simone sings – “sleep in peace when day is done”
She knows that is what God is trying to tell her
But dang – how can she find peace in saying –
Hey – you jacked me up real good – but Ima let this go
Cause you know all this pain and all
It really don’t matter no more
One more time – Kumbaya My Lord – Kumbaya
Oh Lord Kumbaya
Hardliner has transcended so many levels of disrespect
Even her inner ratchet is aghast
There is a sudden stillness in the air –
And Hatshepsut’s Valley contracts then expands
Hardliner’s heart picks up some pace – but she tries
To slow it down some by reminding herself that she
Aint no punkass

With her eyes alight like a starry constellation
The Grand High Queen assumes her full power
And Hardliner drops a few of her balls
All this bravado sister – and you can barely stand
Your knees are about to buckle under the weight
Of this negative energy you carry
Look at yourself in your mirror – look at the life you are building
Filled with grey shades of indiscipline – disobedience and disorder
Aside from the resentment and pisstossicity curdling your insides
Where is the space for joy in your world
You have gotten so used to flickering light to brighten
Your grey world that right now you can’t even imagine
The experience of being illuminated by a hallowed light
Lay down your weapons Hardliner

Amidst all her punkass balls dropping
Sista gurl finds the strength to ask how?
Cause she aint gats anything more left to give
She has to keep some of herself for herself mama

Is that what you fear sister?
Giving too much of yourself until you are empty
If you would think of yourself as abundant
Your cup will perpetually overflow with goodness
It cost nothing to forgive
It cost nothing to love
It cost nothing to place faith and trust
In the God who made you
Who has loved and protected you from your inception in his mind
What you give is precious – do not throw your pearls to swine
Give out your goodness to only those persons
In your life who are worthy of it
Forgiveness starts from within – seek it first from yourself
Then the other party

What does she have to forgive herself for?
She aint perfect but dang

Sister your avoidance of owing your dirt in this situation
Is clearly an Ego trip

Eg – umph
Counting to ten Hardliner stomps on her trigger happy sass
Ok – she has been playing the victim in this thang
She will own up to her hand in this situation

What else? Hatshepsut presses

This queen is tripping
Hardliner goes through another dose of her world
Contracting then expanding – with Hatshepsut’s
Eyes aglow with celestial wonder
Look – she is trying here
And can’t think of what she gats to forgive herself for
Yes she has been an angry diva
The kind that births terminal cancer
Yes she has blamed persons for her situation
Ok – she has to forgive herself for putting herself in situations
Or inhabiting spaces that whoop her ass
Then cast blame on everyone and their mama
She forgives herself for playing the victim in situations
Instead of facing her issues
She forgives herself for being afraid to acknowledge her dirt
And causing a mess when she tries to flee from it

Dang mama – I’m tired

This is what happens when you go to war with yourself
Even when you can barely raise your head
You give your war cry
You fight for fighting sake
Sister – pick your wars and battles judiciously
Why must resistance be brutally pounded out of you
In order for the healing light to penetrate your soul
Be gentle with yourself
You are not cushioning a weakling

“But affirming a strong woman”
Hardliner finishes the quote offered to her some time ago by her Irates

She thinks she gon take up her Father’s offer
To come into to his embrace and chill for a while
There are some tough – grown ass decisions
She has to make before 2014 roll calls in on her
And she is too dayum old to be popping a bitch
Like it or not – she is a Budda Seer in training
There is a certain comfort that this gravity of truth brings
And she has to honour it – something she is now learning

Sista Shug is sanging from a holy place
Free of everything but hallowed light
“Oh, Speak, Lord. Won’t you speak to me?
I was so blind – I was so lost until you spoke to me
Oh, speak, Lord… with your word, heal my soul
Oh, speak, Lord. Speak to me. Speak, my Lord”

And Hardliner gets her
In the midst of an ugly cry
She gets her

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