Aint it funny
That when a person desires a thing
They have to be willing to let it go in order to receive it
And aint it mad funny –
That they can spend all their dayum time
Obsessing over it – like when it gon come – how it gon come
Then in two blinks and a wink
That very thing appears right before their startled eyes

Hardliner knew her Queen was the house
When she caught that whiff of royalty
The moment she grasped her latest lesson
And that is – she is not infallible
She has to be willing to fail in order to succeed
The moment Hardliner spread her wings and took to the sky
Not overly obsessed with maintaining her safety
Her queen ascended her throne –
And not contending with merely one
But this badass chick is heyul bent on ascending as many thrones
As the number of stars in Hatshepsut’s boundless Cushite sky

Although now Hardliner feels some apprehension
OK – she is straight up scared
The kinda scared that calls for pee to run down her leg
Cause this is truly a new frontier for sista gurl
She is in a place where she finally believes in her power
To change her world –
To design it to her own making
And the tools for this reshaping are confidence
Patience – self belief – faith – trust and
The balls of a Grand Dame Queen Beast!

In other words – well – only one –
One simple word enables her to use these tools
Cause there aint no Grand Dame Queen Beast
Without stepping into the space of vulnerability
It is just that – this one likkle word – VULNERABILITY
Still triggers a spiteful headache in her left eye

No pain no gain baby
Staying within your comfort zone retards your growth
A closed book is no use to a student
How can you learn about yourself if you
Are afraid to open and study life’s book of lessons
A vibrant – joyful and spiritual life demands
One to inhabit and learn from those uncomfortable spaces
Why fear them – you will not break

So she’s just gon let the dayum pee gush down her leg

Boo – when pee is not running down your leg
You are living too small
If you want to live an emotionally numbed life
One without the risk of failure
You will live a life that is unworthy of you

She gets that – but the whole world don’t gats to see
Her fear and anxiety pissing down her leg though!

And does that make you less of who you are
When you let people see this vulnerability?
Contrary to your perception of being judged as weak
Maybe persons would appreciate your willingness to live
Wholeheartedly through those moments of fear and anxiety
More than if you tried to hide behind Ms. Ego’s bravado
Just maybe Hardliner – people would be more compassionate and open
Towards you because your struggles mirror their own
So who you be Hardliner?
If you had to call out the energy from a word
That aptly describes who you are
Not what you can do – but who you were born to be
What would be this defining word?
Who you be mama?

Hardliner is kinda put on the spot here
With the pee running down her leg and all
She is in this unfamiliar empty space that
She has to design any which way she wants
The possibilities are limitless
Sista gurl shifts awkwardly –
Trying in vain to stem her flow of piss
Cause that design project right there
Screams grown ass responsibility

And you can’t hang with it?
Come on now Hardliner – your queen is on her throne
She is new to this – but still a queen
Do not punk out to your anxiety
Her Irates’ whiplash starches her backbone

Hardliner realises that the best thing
She can do right now is to chill the heyul out
She closes her eyes and goes inward – separating herself from
The anxiety that ousted clarity from her dome
She finds herself melting into the peaceful fabric of her new surroundings
This new place of being that Oya has taken her to is expansive
Devoid of everything but an energy that vibrates purpose and promise
Go figure – she muses
Cause right now all in gurlfriend’s world aint all that copacetic
She gats haters at every corner
Looking – scoping – waiting for her to jack her shit up

Haters are of no importance Hardliner
You have begun to walk in your authentic skin
Mama – you are showing the stuff you are capable of
And still they aint seen nothin yet
If you remained hidden – slipped into obscurity
The haters would not have you on their radar right now
So you must be doing something good!
Do not waste your time on haters Hardliner
You will cease to live within yourself if you do
Who you be?
When you answer this question within yourself
You will realise that haters don’t gats no play in your world
Cause their stuff aint about you

Oh the Irates are rolling deep today
Hardliner feels the energy of the word –
Her defining WORD vibrating within her being
Waiting on her to give it clarity and strength
So that its sound waves ripple and reverberate
In her expansive surroundings

Word sound and power baby
Her Irates reply
Call it out into this place of being
Shout it out to be acknowledged and anointed by the Universe
Confining it to your mind keeps you in your comfort zone
Allow this word to charge the static air around you
Who you be mama?

This time they ask with gravity in their tone – summoning tears
As profound tranquility comes to her aid
Opening and stretching her vocal chords
Until she can’t take it no more

I am a healer

Umph – clarity never sounded so good!

Hallelujah – and the truth shall set you free
Her Irates rejoice
Do you hear Oya’s drums mama?
She is celebrating your victory – accept her gift
You deserve it

Hardliner inclines her head to the triumphant change goddess
Oya’s winds of transformation have thrown mountains at sista gurl
And she has survived it – not yet broken
Never mind the pee running down her leg
Hardliner is sure that there gon be times
When that mutha gon gush down her dayum leg
But she learned that fear is a natural thing
It reminds her that she is human
Yet in facing her fear she steps into courage
A High Queen with pee running down her leg – what a sight!
It’s a pity Hatshepsut aint around no more
She would ask her what are her thoughts on that one

Hardliner – eyes wide open – takes in her surroundings
Her sky is dayum beautiful – cloudless and star studded
The sun gon come up in the morning with blazing purpose
She breathes taking in her victory – anointed by the Universe
She is a new queen and gats a shit load to learn – then relearn
Like how not to cuss so effortlessly
But dang it – she aint perfect
Righ yall?
Heh heh

Aint it funny – how you think you are funny Boo

What – yall gon throw a designer knock awf shoe at me
That was the weapon of choice back in the day

Yeh – before you were ascending thrones

Ummph humph –
Lips pursed – she catches their meaning all up in their diss
Message received