War Cry Chronicles: Old green Eyes

Standard

Green has never been Hardliner’s colour
She is all for azure blue
And as a matter of fact sista has never
Really thought about the colour green
But now – since this thought process just happened upon her
She cannot help but to entertain it
Lips pursed with an eye roll – Hardliner acknowledges
The deep Spiritual flow in this situation
And her lack of will to stop it

“Spiritual enlightenment 101 – for the stubborn and resistant”
The Irates counter – “but go ahead mama”

Green evokes the freshness and newness of spring
The energy of growth and rebirth – love
Green represents vibrancy and resilience –
Birthed and nurtured by Mother Earth
Hardliner musses – maybe that is why she hits
Her Zen spot when her bare feet find soft verdant grass
The comfort and peace she encounters is sublime
But don’t let all that Kumbaya energy fool you
Green has a slippery side – it can carry an oily – grimy
Energy that bespeaks deceit – jealousy – envy – selfishness
Funny thing – Hardliner associates green with snakes
And snakes also find their Zen spots in verdant grass
Hence the cliché a “snake in the grass”
GREEN + SNAKE = HATER!
It don’t take a genius to come up with that equation

“You don’t say”

Hardliner lets out a gusty breath
There they go again with that mocking – deadpan humour
And she gats a low tolerance for it today
Today aint a good day
And so much for her oath to squeeze joy outta everyday –
Especially the stank ones
Her ocean is in a foul mood – opaque and downright dirty
On the account that it has been indiscriminately
Churning out her emotional debris of late

“It is in the process of self-cleaning”

Well it screams pisstossity to me
And look at it – its just so ruffneck – gats no couth

“What appears as anger may actually be a ruthless
Determination to expunge pollution from its waters
The purification process is not pretty”

Yeah – and painful as shit
Hardliner sees where her Irates are going with this
Her calcified issues coming to mind – rather vividly
She strains to keep her eyes open
Cause that ocean breeze is coming down a little too thug like
With sand and salt all up in its freshness
Right now a sista would really appreciate a soft patch
Of grass in which to plant her feet – she needs grounding
Hardliner stops her flow – irritability bubbles to the surface
What is up with all this green stuff? – enlighten a sista!
She pauses for a moment to think
Is this some chakra business – dem tings are about colours right?
That green one – what is it?

“The heart chakra”

So yall gon Buddha on a gurl
Are Buddha and Jesus friends these days?

“Gurl focus! – you are better than that
Slay that Ego tripping tongue of yours tongue”

Her Irates reprove

Hardliner figures she gon stay mute for now
All she is saying is that she is down for Jesus
She just gon do Buddha and colours – nothing more
No chanting Shit she don’t understand
So is her heart chakra jacked up?
Because she is experiencing a particular negative flow of emotion
That she wants to disown – but her determined ocean
Keeps spewing the stuff out onto the sand

Oh Lawd! Hardliner catches her breath – deep panic setting in
Ooooooooooooooh shit!
Is that a green snake?
Gurlfriend manically tries to dodge the venomous creature

“How do you know it is venomous”
Comes dispassionate response

IT IS A SNAKE! – cold blooded reptile
There aint no snake that don’t gats at least somethin going on

“Well it is into you – it is yours mama”

Say what?
With widening eyes – the realisation dawns on Hardliner
And she rebukes it immediately
Hey – hey – hey – hey – now hold on – heyyyyyyyyyyyy!
A sista may be a lot of things – rude – lazy
And dayum near pugnacious most times
But she aint no hater
Oh yeh – she gon rebuke that in Jesus name for good measure

“You have some holy water too?
Come one mama – face your envy
This is live TV – you are on”

Denial is in the throes of a ’till death do we part’ fight
Yall – I aint no hater

“Ahhhh – but seated at the heart of every hater
Is the ultimate master – Ego
And if you dig a little deeper you will find
That every hater has a story”

Hardliner reaches for clarity – or more like squeezes it out
With a deathly grip – from the stank situation
Oh – she gon get to the bottom of this – she aint no hater

“As you keep saying Boo
Release your denial and get naked with yourself
Remember you are dealing with your calcified stuff
This is a war cry moment – and your ocean is real loud
Let rip a roar – stun those waves into submission”

Envy is such a nasty emotion

“But also a very human emotion
And right now you carry heavy judgment
Towards this low form of your humanness
How can you find peace and healing with self-judgment Boo?”

Yeh – but see she aint the jealous type

“Get clear Hardliner – jealousy and envy are not interchangeable”

Hardliner warily looks at the little green snake
She can’t seem to doge the little nipper
Well they gats the same face to me
She picks up a piece of driftwood to keep the clingy little snake at bay

“Jealousy rears its ugly head when you believe
That someone is taking or has taken something
You think ought to belong to you or something you deserve
Like for instance a job promotion – a lover – inheritance
And a jealous person most times carries ill will and resentment
Envy is born from wishing you had something that belongs to another
Such as their gifts and talents – career – material possessions
You can be envious of someone and yet harbour
No ill will or resentment towards them”

Hardliner looks down scornfully at the persistent snake
Still trying to get to her amidst the fervent pokes and jabs
From the driftwood

“If you want to keep that green snake away
You need to face and dethrone the envy within you”

In the space between the roar of her turbulent ocean
And the self-judgment towards owing a green snake
Hardliner finds quietude that strengthens and grounds her
When she steps out of this space to face Green Eyes
She is focused – with pee running down her leg
Because she also feels vulnerable
Hardliner takes a clinical look Green eyes
And decides that envy is an act of violence upon her soul
Basically it is the act of comparing herself to another
And coming up short every dayum time
If she were truly comfortable in her skin
Sista would not have this issue
Why does she continue to battle inadequacy?

“Perhaps because you have not yet arrived at the place
Of true self-acceptance”

Hardliner wants to balk at their analysis
But finds that she cannot
After all – if she was truly confident in her abilities – talents – gifts
She would not feel the need to measure herself against anyone else

Hardliner is tired – she has dropped the drift wood now
But funny thing – the snake seems to be hesitant to come to her

“You stopped fighting yourself Boo
It is very simple
That is the thing with envy – it thrives when you war with yourself
Just do you Hardliner
God made you as an ORIGINAL work of art
Aint nobody can do you the way you do
Your various gifts and talents cannot be copied by anyone
Because the result will only be a poor imitation of an original
Baby gurl after God made you – he destroyed the mold
Why compare yourself to other people
Everybody has their preordained path to follow
What one person requires or achieves on their journey
May be quite useless to you
In the same way yours are useless to them
You can only be the highest and best representation of yourself
When you operate from the place of purpose
To get to that place – you must acknowledge and accept who you are
A woman with mad talent and a generous spirit
And that it is enough – you lack nothing”

Hardliner looks over her ocean – purring now like a pussy cat
Spirit aint no joke
But sista is also a Grande Dame Queen Beast
Gurlfriend squeezed peace and joy out of this stank situation
And that aint no small feat
That little green snake was a dodgy little fella
Albeit Hardliner knows she and Old Green Eyes gon meet again
After all she is human – everybody gats a little somethin-somethin
Going on with envy – every so often
But the trick is to acknowledge its presence
And reaffirm that she is baaaaaad all by herself
Oooooooooh – the sun is scatting somethin’ fierce
In that azure blue sky
And it is hitting the water just right
Aint it a nice day?

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