She could do with that mojito right about now
This here Robinson Crusoe experience
Is working her last nerve
Dem Irates gats her on this castaway nonsense
Digging up graves and whatnot
And don’t let her get started on that big old ocean
Staring her down 24/7
Where the hell Ms. Oya at
Like the change and transition –tornado wielding
Earth quake stirring Goddess is on a break
Tell her that this here castaway scene has lost its touch
And another thing…

Good Lawd chile – take a chill pill

Umph – she could taste a self-gratifying
Funky retort hitting her pallet in just the right spot
And giving life to her taste buds
But…

When you know better you do better

Yall droll as ever – Hardliner retorts sarcastically
She knows that this battle is futile
Showing off her eclectic off-coloured vocabulary
Aint gon do nothing to change her situation
She stands there – with her screw face on
Staring down her ocean like she is some bad diva
Yet with each passing moment – it loses potency
As her defiance dissipates into boisterous sea blasts

Take your time Boo – handle your business
Her Irates reply in that smoothly blended tone
Of impartiality and sarcasm that always makes her left eye twitch
Nevertheless she does her deep breathing routine
To come to a place of peace and good grounding
Hardliner marvels at the fact that in the midst of chaos
Her will to find peace is very strong
Nowadays Bitch fits are not what they used to be
She surrenders with a sigh

Let it go Boo – you are too grown to be pining
For things that do a disservice to you
You have a birthday coming up

Yeh another year coming to a close
Sista aint studying this right now
Her mind is cluttered with stuff – mindless chatter
That has her feeling unsettled
Unprepared – ungrounded – unsure
Just awf!

Scared?
Her Irates offer – hitting the nail on the head

Hardliner looks out and over her ocean
Trying to contain its vastness in her view
Life aint no joke – she muses to herself
She spends a few moments in this reflective state
Yeh – sista gurl is scared
She is about to lay down some meat on that plan of hers
It is a desperate – balls breaking plan

The best ones usually are Boo

But they are scary as hell though
Despite an unnerving commitment
With supernatural will in the driver’s seat
Hardliner is faced with uncertainty
Cause this plan is also a gamble
She is gambling her future for something so big – so palpable
That 85% of her already inhabits this space
However the remaining 15% still lives in her old hood
Ms. Control Freak is one of her hood rats
And she has come out to play in Hardliner’s dome
Causing much confusion and frustration
She has heightened Sista gurl’s anxiety about
The uncertainty of packing up her life
And starting something new in hard economic times
Ms. Control freak don’t want Hardliner to move an inch
Without a certainty that thangs gon go down the way she planned it

But life – like that vast ocean is unpredictable baby
It calls for you to walk by faith and not by sight

Oh Lawd that faith thing again – Hardliner moans
Give a girl something tangible
Something she could work with

I gats a lot riding on this shit!

And who set you on this journey Hardliner?
Whose plan was it in the first place?

The ocean roars – slapping waves onto the shore
This has been her state of mind of late
A back and forth – milling over a myriad of possibilities
That could arise from her daring move
And yet each time she comes back to the knowing
The thing that God placed in her heart
Fully more committed to it than before
You could say that she is cray cray
Alternating between come hell or high water
And what if things go wrong

Hardliner – her Irates pull her out of her listless reverie

Yeh – she knows that God has set her on this path
And only he knows how this thing gon turn out
But he needs to give sista a little heads up
That faith thing is hard – she has tried it – she is trying it
Cause she is spirit driven – in pursuit of her purpose

But purpose equals struggle baby
And you have to believe within you
That you have what it takes
God set you on this path Hardliner
He did not orchestrate it to have you fail –
You were born to do this work
Your creative talents were given to you for a purpose
Walking by faith does not make you a fool for believing
In the manifestation of something that may not happen
When you walk in faith – you are resting control in God’s hands
You walk this life knowing that through him all things are possible
All you have to do is to do you
And HE will meet you where you are

You mean do nothing – she replies caustically
Hardliner is in a life-and-death struggle with this faith thing
She is battling inner frustration and anxiety
About how she gon workout her money situation
Cause aint no kinda plan gon work without coin!
Then there is doubt that she gon be accepted
To the Masters programme – umph!

Hardliner peace and be still
Her Irates flood her dome with soothing energy
Baby you are being called nevertheless
Amidst your frustrations – inner doubt

Anxiety – fear – and more fear
She quips through pursed lips
Her scepticism slices their faith rhetoric
Like a hot knife through butter
Humph – she is being called to go for it
GO for her purpose blind – not knowing where
She gon end up – not believing that she has everything that she needs

You do have everything you need Boo
When the time arises – you will get exactly what you need
Most times the journey to purpose demands that you take
The first few steps in the dark

Lawd have mercy
Hardliner pulls in some deep breaths
As she allows this anointing to resonate in her being
This plan has been floating around her dome for
The past seven years
She has known it would come to pass eventually
But knowing something and feeling its truth
Resonate in your soul is a breakthrough all on its own
And as Hardliner stands there facing her unpredictable ocean
Nonchalantly slapping waves onto the shore
Oh – and with pee gushing down her leg
Sista surrenders to God’s plan for her life
She is going for it – come hell or high water
Hardcore and blind
Broke – eh financially challenged
And without a back up –
But needing many hook ups

She will go for it
Knowing that this is a journey filled with war cry moments
In which she will battle
Her insecurities
Inner doubt
Anxiety
Fear and more fear
Peace of cake right – she smiles to herself

But come hell or high water
Hardliner is determined not to let this experience break her
But make her into a phenomenal woman – à la Maya Angelou

“It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me”

Speak the truth Ms. Maya

Selah