What does one do in the wake of fire
The kind that has swallowed up everything
You have – know and believe
The one that sets your bone marrow ablaze
Sending you into flight off a cliff
Rather than succumb to a life of mediocrity
And unfulfilled purpose
Whooooo chile
Hardliner bowls over to catch her breath
Having landed once more on the yellow brick
With images of a manic – dancing Oya
Aka Change and Transition – setting her fire to her stage
Being played in repeat mode inside her head
She could almost feel the heat of the psycho flames
Bearing down on her – stirring up something fierce
In her bone marrow
Oh heyul – dagnabit – lesson learnt
She trusted and busted out
Those inner wings and soared a sky
Filled with infinite possibility and uncertainty
With fire gutting her insides
When does this shit stop

You are in a place of purification baby
Almah offers – suddenly standing at her side
Her grounding energy soothes the unease within Hardliner
She needs some assurance right now
She needs an anchor right now
Heyul – a stiff drink would be good right about now

Almah cuts off the woe is me rant
That sista gurl has begun to build
With a side eye as sharp as a Samurai sword
Places of purification are holy Hardliner
Instead of being peevish – rock grace

Hardliner shakes her head with a small smile
Tugging the sides of her mouth
She earned that reprimand
Oya’s dance with fire has left
Her in a smouldering space – hot and humid
With the smell of smoke being emitted from her pores
So acrid – that she can taste it
This is her place of purification she muses

A divine opportunity to look at what is left of your life
Then use it to build the one of purpose
You are always going on about
In other words you are being called to walk your talk
Ms Almah offers – Tucking her arm around Hardliner’s elbow

Gawd help me – Hardliner moans

Grace Boo – the Earth Mother gently cautions
With one of those rare smiles softening her face
They begin a leisurely stroll down the yellow brick
Hardliner slays the urge to ask herself
When is she gon get off this here Road
She could have sworn she was approaching
The Emerald City – with that green aura a while back
A lohhhhhhhhng while back

That aint just a woe is me rant threatening your peace
Slay your Ego Hardliner –
Recognise what it is you are fighting
And this goes for everything you come up against
Know who you are in the battle and
Who is your commander in chief
Cause it aint you

Hardliner stops her stroll – closes her eyes
And breathes deeply
Before looking directly into the wizened
Gaze of the Earth Mother

I don’t know how Almah
I don’t know where to begin

In this place of purification right now
Where is it the hottest – the part that triggers
The alarm to bolt like a runaway slave

The guide asks – waiting patiently as Hardliner
Battles resistance to her healing
Breathing through it she responds
The relationship with my mother

What about it? – Almah askes

Hardliner rolls her eyes – and shakes her head
What about it – she mimics peevishly

Give this battle to God Boo
Lay down your weapons
That is how you begin to deal with the situation
Self-honesty is the first step
Call out your problem
What about the relationship with your mama
Almah is on the real now – as earth tremors
Rock the ground underneath Hardliner’s feet

The thing is sista thought she released her mama issues
She thought she’d rounded that corner
And forgave and shit and that peace was jamming in her dome
But dayum – living with the woman has dug up all kinds of shit
And now sista is back to being purified by fire
Her mama is a divine lesson all by herself
And for one thing – she is the one who hasn’t…

Alamah places her hand on Hardliner’s chest
Cutting off her victim rant
Steady yourself – you are being called to operate
From here – she indicates to sista’s heart
Not here – then lightly touches her forehead
You have analysed this issue to ashes
And the fire burned through everything
Every possible escape route – but the heart
This is where you go to heal your mama issues
You cannot operate from the seat of vulnerability
From your head space
You have to go there – or else you will continue to
Feel raw for the rest of your life

Insurrection rages through her insides
She does not emotionally trust the woman

Trust yourself – trust God – comes the reply

When someone proves that they can’t be trusted
What do you do – be a sitting duck to be ripped apart again?

Have you ever cried for someone else
Other than yourself Hardliner – Almah asks

Say what

Have you ever opened up your heart space
And cried for someone –
To allow compassion and understanding
To take you to the place of forgiveness and reconciliation
You are not being asked to change the person
But just to accept their humanity – however flawed
Without judgement and censure
All the while acknowledging that this person mirrors
What you see in yourself

Hardliner feels the energy being pulled from Almah’s palm
Over her heart and into her body
A warm feeling seeps into her heart space
Yet Hardliner is also cognizant of the resistance
Eating away at the desire to heal her fractured relationship
With her mother
She suddenly turns – aware of a spiritual presence
The huge silver furred wolf with piercing ice-blue eyes
Sits to the left of her

Hardliner feels the workings of spirit in air
Still infused with the charred smell of her ashes

There is beauty in ashes baby
A chance to start again
And the circumstances don’t have to be perfect
The beauty of a breakthrough can illuminate
In the most uncomfortable – messy and funky
Space of purification
Where you have been stripped clean of everything
You do not need – thus sterilising you
So that you rise from your ashes reborn

Hardliner feels prepped for something
She looks gravely at Silver Shadow to the left of her
And the wolf returns her gaze in kind

Something tells her that the step between sterilisation
And the one where she rises from the ashes
Has something to do with her heart
That uneasy feeling she gets when she thinks
About her mama issues is stirring up all kinds
Of mess in her gut

Open heart surgery baby
If you want to leave this space of being
And come out on the other side with your mama
Whole – reborn
You must cut through and open your heart
To remove the anger – resentment and judgement blocking its arteries
Allowing compassion – forgiveness and most importantly love
To sustain its chambers

Hardliner winces – Lawd Jesus

Yes – he is the surgeon Boo
Trust him that you will survive
He already knows it
And is waiting on you to believe it