Valley of the Queens Chronicles: Bone Tired

Standard

It is not like she don’t know that
With the Universe any and everything is possible
But dang it – her game has been reduced to rubble
Then ground into dust by a thug pestle

“Ready for our little chat?”

With her fight pounded into submission
Hardliner is prepared to sing

For starters – she apologises for springing
Her inner ratchet from jail
Gawd – that hoe is real hardcore
With her vacation in Pisstossicity Ville ended
Hardliner has to face – cold turkey
The very same painful issues she tried to run away from
Jeeeze – she is bone tired from fighting
Fighting to get her shit together
Fighting to integrate into marriage
Fighting for abundance to lay down roots on Planet Hardliner
Fighting – fighting – fighting
Hardliner is looking for happy – not a fool’s happy
But the genuine kind that bubbles and bursts
Out of a person like a determined coke a cola
Frizzing to life when opened

“Ahhhh the pursuit of happiness
Be careful Boo – you could end up chasing fool’s gold
Happy is based on emotion and is dependent on circumstance
You need to live in a state of joy
To experience the sweetness of life
Joy is eternal Hardliner – totally uncompromised by
Situations or circumstances in your life
Without joy and peace to buoy you
On this here Buda-Seer Journey of yours
Gurl you gon be beat up – real bad
And this is a journey you have to take
There aint no ifs – buts – or let’s make a deal – about it
What is the lesson you have learned in this experience”

Trying to numb out on her painful stuff with anger
Will get her an inter-galactic whoop ass

“Run of the mill Boo
What is the deeper meaning here?”

Hardliner inhales deeply
Feeling her diaphragm balloon with excess air
She lets go emphatically
Anger sucks all the joy outta her life – down to the last drop
And she gave her inner ratchet – who by the way
Is another of Ego’s disciples – permission to steal her joy
What is it about her life that she always feels imprisoned
Always searching for that free space
And maybe a hiding place – somewhere beyond the rainbow

“You cannot run from your life Hardliner
The Buda-seer making business aint for the faint hearted
You don’t get to be rewarded with wilding out
Yeh – you gats your off days Boo – you are human after all
But don’t let your humanity be your excuse
For defiling your royal lineage
Remember you carry your ancestral kin with you
Those strong – hard working and God fearing Women
Who sweat blood to pave the way for you to be here
Cause the next time you let your inner ratchet
Wild out like that again – after our whoop ass
We will lovingly piece you together again as Isis did for Osiris
And set you off on your Budda-Seer journey once more”

Hardliner is thankful she was spared a flying shoe
She gon take their warning as serious as a threat of a heart attack
She realizes that playing the blame game with people who hurt her
And wallowing in pisstossicity cuts off her blessings
And holds all the positive energy in her life hostage

“Relationships take work mama
Especially the one you have with yourself
Stay with your lesson plan Boo
Don’t go trying to psych anyone out
Instead – check yourself
Love yourself
Honour yourself
Validate yourself
Protect your boundaries
Take onus for your shit
If you can’ do that for you Boo
Who is gonna do it for you?”

This is an in your face Big Mama real talk
And she takes it in with surprising humility

“Don’t let life happen to you Hardliner
You are in control of your cipher
You dictate how you are treated
You dictate how you react to bad situations
Running away from painful memories
Aint gon take you further than your big toe
By the way – where the hell is over the rainbow?
Even if you found it – that little green  Leprechaun
Gon whoop your ass like a runaway slave for his pot of gold
That is why you got your big girl panties on Boo
To support all the junk in your trunk
Chile – arch your spine – put some starch up in there
Like your Grandma and her female kin did
And handle your business”

Yeh – she wilded out –
Got her some unspeakable discipline at
The hands of her Irates and Oya
In the presence of an ever watchful Hatshepsut
All in a day’s work – and for the first time
She aint proud of this Misdemeanour moment
She plants her feet firmly in the desert sand
A clear azure sky above her
Her journey continues – unfolding
Like a plot in a well written novel
Every page is new to her – offering surprising twists and turns
That is life all right
But she gon deal with her shit like the Queen she is
Cause she is so bone tired from running

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