The wilderness chronicles: Holy Matrimony


The devil is ice-skating in Hell
Doing triple jumps and double axels
Pulling a Michelle Quan and shit
Ego is dumbfounded after being bitch-slapped
Into the twilight zone of impossibilities
Hardliner has gotten herself hitched – taken on a man’s name
Oh Gawd – words can’t do justice to describe
What she is feeling at this moment
Hell – the bish has just blown up her half her Universe
With that kamikaze stunt

And for what?

Well Hardliner would be lying if she said that
She could pluck logic outta impossibility’s ass right now
All she could come up with is hormonal imbalance
Cause pregnancy aint no joke
One day you are truly single and the next
There is a ball and chain round your neck
She had a sneaky suspicion that the day she let Kingman into her world
Would be the day that control ran away
With its tail in between its legs
Now she is a Mrs. Somebody
And the man would no doubt be expecting her to wash his drawers

Heyul no Ego interjects vehemently
And girl if you even contemplate that shit
You and I are through – and I mean it
You might as well just blow whatever remaining balls you
Have out of our Universe

Hardliner tries to pull her sanity close to her bosom
Whilst Ego has her little bitch fit about the marri…
Hell – Hardliner can’t even say it
What exactly is it about holy matrimony
That terrifies her so much?
Well – loss of independence comes to mind
Now she will be living with a MAN in close quarters
And he gon be up in all her grill – be witness to all her quirks
And no doubt trigger her pet peeves
Then she will truly have to clock-in and clock-out
Like she’s working in a factory or somethin
After all she is now gonna be somebody’s mama
Shit it’s like waking up and loosing track of one week of your life
All of a sudden she is a grown-assed woman
Whose genes –  if they had their way
Would morph her into her mother

Childbirth gon jack you up gurl
Ego snidely comments
And you gon be tied to a stove cooking for a man
Who incidentally can only cook one pot
Aint it ironic that you may actually become
What you swore that you would never become?

Ego knows she is in attack mode but that crazy bish
Got them into this situation
Now she is just gon have go deal with it
And despite all her hormonal mess
Hardliner would still do it all over again
This is what really galls Ego
The bish figures she is in love
So she has taken a leap of faith by putting her heart
On marriage’s sacrificial alter
But Ego knows that holy matrimony gon whoop her ass
It is the ultimate end game
That can make warriors outta wimps
But can gut the badest gangsta out there like a pig
There is no trying to tell this baaaaad geeyal anything
She’s gone and done the deed already
So Ego gon sit back and watch Hardliner do her dance
With Mr. Holy Matrimony

Humph – good luck with that!


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