Life according to Ego Chronicles: How Aliz Found her Wonderland


Ms. Jill is in the house – phunking up a storm
With her haterism anthem
“Hate on me hater – now or later
Cause I’m gonna do me – you’ll be made baby”

Yessssssssssah! – Hardliner can identify
She aint no hater
Though she may dislike a couple of folks here and there
But sista gurl aint about hating on nobody
Cause God bless the diva that’s got her own

Preach it mama! Ms. Ego resounds –
Jill’s phunk is taking her to church!
And she be busting a holy spirit sweat
“Go head and hate on me hater
I’m not afraid of
What I got I paid for – you can hate on me…”

Woooooooooo baby!

“Somebody hating on you Boo?” Her Irates ask
A trace of mocking humour lacing their query

Hardliner rolls her eyes heavenwards
Like she would care if anyone was
This right here is about sisterhood and the fact that
There is more haterism among women folk than love and fellowship
Either a sista plays like she gats your back –
Until your blessings runneth ova
When she pulls out that sharpened jealous knife
Or she just don’t give a fuck and will knife you anyway –
A woman just cannot win these days

So like Ms. Jill choruses – “in reality – I’m gon be who I be
And I don’t feel no faults… you can try as you may
Break me down when I say – that it ain’t up to you
Gon on do what you do – hate on me hater…”

Oh – thangs are phunkitfied on Planet Hardliner!

“And your phunk revival aint about nobody in particular?’The Irates press her
“C’mon Boo – right now you are coming from a raw place”

Oh heyul – who invited yall to this party?
Ego – pugnacious as ever interjects
Gurl that is just life – full of haters
She tries to snatch up Hardliner – there will be no drinking
That coming into your higher self -joy juice in Ms. Ego’s Presence
Chick – either you getz yours or someone snatches it before you
If you play punkass – life gon eat you up
Man up!

Harliner’s Ego offers her pearls of wisdom like she be Socrates
And sista gurl is honest – well – enough –
To admit there was a time when she fronted Ego’s faux pearls
But she is finding out that in the light of truth
Faux is simply fake

Oh my – how the lowly hath risen?
Sucking her teeth with ratchet emphasis Ms. Ego asks
Where is this going Hardliner?
Sour aint word enough to describe her disposition
Right now her Jill Scott vybe
Is about as phunktified as a Dolly Parton original

Hardliner recognizes that she is not centred
As Ego’s bitch fit has usurped her dome
So she steps away from her cray cray mess
And invites clarity to restore order on Planet Hardliner

“There you go” – her Irates approve
“Now tell your tale mama”

Ok – first awf – she gon be real and admit
That this tale is about a sister who hated on her
Now – looking back on the situation with enlightened eyes
Hardliner understands that the chick was broken
And really her haterism was not about Hardliner
But was targeted towards herself
You see – Aliz hailed from a Land of Ironical Wonder
Not the land of her birth – but she sure played it like it was
Hiding any and all evidence of her grass roots origin
Like the high-end Indian weave she fronted to cover
The defiant Congo kink rooted in her scalp
In this land the sun rose each day with brilliance
Yet failed to shower the earth with warmth
Stars at night twinkled in an expansive coal coloured sky
Yet fell like diamond tears – one by one- just before midnight
Its citizens were about the Great Gatsby life
Yet they were paupers of spiritual depth

Now this Wonderland was by far a Twilight Zone away
From the surreal “Wonderland” that pretty blonde girl Alice
Discovered after falling into the winding rabbit hole
And if you were to go there now – you would most probably
Hook up with her having afternoon tea with her schizoid friends
Bitching about her life and why she gats to hang
With a Twilight Zone cray –cray crew to get her kicks
And how she should try going to Oz and just hang with Dorothy for a while
Since Dorothy axed two evil witches
Maybe she could advise her on how to jack that bitch
The Queen of Hearts who always gats to start some mess with her
Every dayum time she comes to Wonderland
You see if that little man king of hers
Was putting it down on her real good – on a regular
That bish would just be fun crazy – like Hatter
But she is a whole lot of woman – and her little bumbling man
Don’t look like he’s worth a fuc..…

“Boo!” Hardliner’s Irates sharply reign her in

Ooooh – my bad

Anyway – unlike Ms. Nice Nasty Alice back there
In the Hemisphere of the Absurd
Our gurl Aliz did not have the privilege of planning now and again
Escapades to a bizarre and magical Wonderland
Nah – Sista-girl lived in her Hood for real
In fact – the only spiraling hole that Aliz knew was poverty
And it stank of shame – inadequacy and anger
Gatsby would not even want to piss in her childhood Wonderland
Home to hustlers of every caliber – all answering
To the dirt and grime of a gutter life
So rather than be got – Aliz went out and got hers
Spine arched –teeth clenched with dogged persistence
Sista-gurl climbed outta her hood
And damn anyone foolish enough
To stand in between her and that Gatsby life

She may have numbed the pain of inadequacy – just enough
With her education – wealth and social status
But her self-loathing was a bit more troublesome to shake
It hounded her like a stray starving dog
And despite her dizzy climb up the social ladder –
Her elegant and urbane connections
She never felt whole enough
All the trappings of success were never enough
To keep her warm in the way that only self-love could
So she used her self-loathing as a weapon to tear down
The self-esteem and spirit of her sister women
To cut them off with that bored pompous stare
Old Money used on her Nouveau Riche type

She had no time for sisterhood
Most of the heffas she knew before her meteoritic rise
Would pull her back into the arms of the dirt she came from in a heartbeat
And then there were those other heffas
Who were always trying to get somewhere from nowhere
Never moving past trying to doing –
Lacking the will to take destiny by the balls to seize their wonderland
So why the hell should Aliz do them any favours
No woman ever gave her a hand out or a shoulder to cry on
She was not in the counseling business
This was life – either getz yours or be got

Now Ms. Aliz was unaware of a strange wind in the distance
Gathering freakish momentum – carrying her authenticity on its wings
Unbeknownst to her as she dreamt one night
Decked in her designer PJs and what not
This mass of energy crept like a thief into her slumber –
Tearing apart her world of Bourgeois-ghetto Politicking
Backstabbing – Greed and a Little Ass- kissin’ On the Side
It moved like a furious tornado – uprooting her mistruths
Uncovering all her dirt – with ethereal tranquility

Hardliner can tell you one thing – divine interventions teach
The defiant and the arrogant a thing or two
About prostration before his or her alter
Something Ms. Aliz soon found out
She awoke the next morning expecting to face the usual day
Of fight down and kiss the right ass at the office
Yet something was awf
There was no buzz of reminders of appointments – schedules
Stirring up a frenzy inside her head
Just the deafening sound of silence
In what seemed to be an alternate Universe
Far – far away from her Gatsby hood
Its virgin light shone with lustre – illuminating her lack
Forcing her to view her inner self like an open book
And as she flipped those pages – Aliz was confronted by her brokenness
Her issues of low self- worth – the shame of her humble beginnings
Her fears of rejection and losing her wealth
Sista faced it all – with a fugly cry that shattered her core
Only to put it back together again
She faced it all with true ghetto grit
Something that Gatsby could never teach her
And Lawd – she felt warm – her skin tingling
As the cleansing light of Spirit illuminated her being
It bellowed joyously in that deafening silence

“Welcome home to the Wonderland within your soul – baby girl
Where you will climb mountains of pain –
Walk through valleys of sorrow to view sublime sunrises
Of triumphant joy from heights unimaginable”

Ms. Aliz had finally found her Wonderland
A new frontier that she discovered
Held more wonder than beyond Dorothy’s Rainbow
Or Alice’s Twilight Zone’s World of Wonder
She rocked the authentic life – like her Congo kink
Nappy – but finally happy with being Aliz

Hardliner smiles now when she thinks of her sista woman
Who has come full circle
Not all broken women are saved
But heyul Aliz is a living testament to those sisters
Who believe that they can be

And when Ms. Aliz struts – with her Congo kink and all
One could hear Jill belting – with phunk so palpable
That all haters retreat into their shadow worlds
“You cannot… hate on me
Cause my mind is free
Feel my destiny – so shall it be”

Go’head Ms. Aliz!


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